tonying

I will definitely do anything just to be happy. And why not?  After all I believe that happiness is life’s ultimate goal. It’s the mere reason of our existence. It’s something that we all wanted, something we have always longed for.

            Some people would do anything to have so much money because by being filthy rich they thought they would be happy. Some others will seek fame or power because by having so, they thought they will be happy. Others would finds peace with their faith and religion, and being at peace, they are happy. A number of people find happiness in love.

            So there, we may not know it, but we tend to pursue things in life because we thought it would make us happy. Even drug addicts, though in just a short time, gets high and then they are on cloud nine. I guess its happiness that is so addictive.

Euphoria, geeks do say, is just a surge of certain biochemicals in the brain, a reaction to something we do like, or things that makes us in high spirits. Its all in the brain, its all about our concept of happiness, because after all, we do have different views of what really makes us happy.

            Life is so full of complications. At times, I thought, happiness can never be mine. But I have found a way to be happy. By being contented, by not asking for more and actually appreciating what every blessing I have. By this, I find joy in almost anything, especially in little things.

            I smile when I see little children laughing, reminds me so much of my happy childhood. When I feel lonely at night, I would go out and admire the blanket of stars, or the moonlight, or wait for some falling stars. What a jubilation it is when you wish on a falling star! Even if things would go out of hand at times, I’ll deal with it with all my might and then laugh at it with all my heart, as if it was one of life’s jokes on me. I always look for funny things and I hate silence. When I’m with people I tend to crack jokes, even to the point of being silly, but it’s just fine with me, at least I am happy, and so are the people around me.

            So have you seen a falling star lately? Are you tired of life’s struggles? Why don’t you go out, even for awhile, and smell the flowers, or watch the rain, or see the sunset. There are just too many beautiful things around us. All we need to do is to pay attention, leave our worries behind for a little while, and enjoy God’s creations. I’m quite sure it will calm your spirit, make you a bit delighted.  After all, these beautiful things might not be around anymore tomorrow.

        These past few days my well being is somewhat in the edge. I’m in a lot of stress, and then I got sick. Which forced me to rest. But I just cant lie on my bed doing nothing, so I put on to my dvd player a copy of nip/tuck. I missed a lot of episode because I stay in the farm, and I don’t have cable service at the farm.

            As always, being the self centered man that I am, with the belief that the universe revolves around me, I related to the tv series. It reminded me so much when I was a kid.

            I was not that good as a child, but I’m not bad either. It’s just that as a kid, I had a lot of insecurities, which made me go into pretensions. Although looking back, I had it all. I just don’t know it back then. I had a great family, my parents sent me to the best school in our place, they give me almost everything that I want to the point of spoiling me, I had great friends, and you should have seen me when I was a kid, I swear, I’m a very charming one.

            But I am not aware of that then. I’m always envious, always wanting more. I wanted more toys, I wanted the shiniest bike, I wanted the latest computer game, I wanted to have a slimmer nose, I wanted to be taller, I wanted to be the best, and I wanted more. More that people around me could give. I wanted to be perfect.

            There was this point in my life that I hit the bottom, as in rock bottom. It’s just a year after college graduation, something that I had a hard time getting over with, college, I mean. I just quit my first job and my family’s business is in ruins. I was so depressed. I was getting into a lot of change, and I just could not take off. I knew what I can do, I know my potential, I just don’t know what’s holding me back. Until I realized that I almost have nothing but my dreams.

            This is the point when I finally realized what I had the some other people don’t. it is when I realized that I had a lot of opportunities that I just let go away. It is when I started to count my blessings. Ironic that when I almost had nothing is when I started to feel that I am a very lucky man, a lot luckier that many people. It is then that I started grabbing every opportunity that knocks my door, and keep looking for those opportunities even in the street. It is then that I became contented, for who I am, and for all that I have.

            Now, every morning, when I look in the mirror, I thank God for how handsome I am. It’s my way of loving my self. My nose is still big, and lines are showing here and there, but I won’t trade this face for anything else in the world even for a fact that a lot of people are better looking, take brad or Orlando, for instance. It has proven me that no matter how I look, with the right attitude, some smile, a wink sometimes, I can get anything that I want, almost.   

     With a job that I want, being independent and all, I mean I could count all my blessings endlessly and still I will be thankful and contented. I guess that what makes me appreciate more what comes to me. Because being contended, I am not asking for more. And those blessings that are still pouring in are gold coins in my huge piggy bank. And I am not that selfish kid anymore. I share.

            I guess the feeling of contentment, of independence, of being blessed and lucky, and yes, being somewhat conceited makes me happy. That’s all that I wanted, to be happy. And by being so, I am perfect.